


Every Last Freckle

by jumble_of_fandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Leviathan - Freeform, M/M, Pre-Purgatory, leviathan!cas - Freeform, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:25:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4964143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has released the souls he took back into Purgatory, but there is an even greater threat left behind. Castiel knows that he cannot stop what is about to happen, so instead he takes one last look at the man he has spent so much of his time with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Last Freckle

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post from Tumblr http://jelliclecas.tumblr.com/post/130811594263

Castiel stands before the wall where the portal to Purgatory has finally closed, taking the souls in his body with it. It isn’t long before there are hands on his arms, supporting his weight as his vessel’s knees threatens to give out beneath him. His body does not want to listen to him, does not want to work, and he knows that it is damaged far greater than what can be seen by those around him. Voices slowly make their way to his ears, but he cannot find the strength to actually listen to them.

There are too many other voices inside his head that are screaming for attention from him.

The souls of every monster, every vampire, werewolf, ghoul… Everything that calls Purgatory home took up residence in his body when he tried to make himself God. Instead of being the loved leader he thought he could be with all of that power, something else, something darker, took over instead and only death and destruction was left wherever Castiel went.

While the other souls are finally back in Purgatory where they belong, the darker ones are still within him, screaming for their turn. Castiel realizes that he does not have much time before they completely take over…

“Cas?”

Dean’s voice finally pierces the fog that is surrounding him and he turns to look at the hunter next to him.

“You ok?” Dean’s voice is harsh with a hint of concern tracing the edges.

Grief encompasses Castiel in a way he never thought was possible. Anger with himself soon follows; anger at himself for letting things get this bad, for not trusting his hunter once again, for screwing everything up…

“Dean…” Castiel whispers, getting the hunter’s attention once again. “I am so sorry…”

“Dammit, Cas, we don’t have time for this, ok?” Dean’s hand is grasping his elbow, another’s hand on his other arm. They walk him away from the wall and Castiel can feel himself reaching out and grabbing Dean tightly with his own hand.

“Dean please, I am so sorry…” Castiel tries again. “I will find a way to fix this…”

“Shut up, Cas, please.” Dean says, leading Castiel over to something he can lean against. The hunter isn’t looking at Castiel, but Castiel cannot take his eyes off of the man next to him.

The voices inside him are only growing louder and stronger and he knows that he will not last much longer. There is nothing he can do to keep them from taking over. The more he fights against them, the stronger they seem to grow, and Castiel realizes that he is just growing weaker.

_It’s our turn now, dear angel. You should just give in, it’s time to sleep…_

The voices snake around him, pulling at his thoughts and tearing his attention away from what is coming out of Dean’s lips. So Castiel stops trying to listen and only focuses on the man with his eyes. He flicks them all over Dean’s face, knowing that this is going to be one of the last times he will ever look on his face. He looks past what he usually sees of Dean, his soul, and focuses what is left of his waning energy on looking at Dean’s actual face, something he does not do very often.

Dean’s eyes are usually the first thing that catch his attention, and this time is no different. The green of his eyes is something Castiel never imagined could be a color that came from a human. This type of green, a green that is normally only reserved for the most perfect things in nature, seems to shine even in the low light from where they lay in the hunter’s face. Flecks of gold seem to dance and shine even when nothing else does in this dark place.

The small tan freckles are the next thing Castiel notices and he vaguely remembers someone telling him one time that they were considered angel kisses. A silly human myth, but one Castiel smiles at. He takes the time to look at every single freckle on Dean’s face, mapping them in a way he has never thought of doing before.

The slope of Dean’s nose and the slight crookedness of it catch his attention next. Castiel is once again reminded of a question he never seems to remember to ask. He has always wondered exactly how Dean’s nose became so crooked, but it has never bothered him. Only adding to the look at Dean’s face, it makes Castiel’s heart pull as he has a sudden desire to run his finger down the line of Dean’s nose.

Finally, the lips that are still spilling words that he cannot focus on are what he focuses on last. Perfect lips that are just the right shade of pink to soften the hunter’s face and make him just that much more human. Just the right shade of pink to show life and energy in a man that has seen so much hardship. Lips that look so soft, they hide the things that have probably fallen from those lips many times and Castiel wonders what they would feel like. If they are indeed as soft as they look….

“Dean,” Castiel whispers again as he is allowed to slide to the floor and hunch over his knees. A hand is on his shoulder and pulls away before Castiel can say or do anything.

He looks up only to watch Dean walk away, talking to Bobby about something he can no longer hear. The voices in him have reached a volume that is painful and unable to be blocked out anymore. Castiel feels his vessel giving up, his Grace losing the battle that is waging inside of him.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel whispers as he longs for just one last look at Dean, but something tells him that it would only make him long for another and another.

Closing his eyes, he touches his forehead to his knees and lets out a loud groan of pain.

“Cas?” A voice calls, but it seems so far away.

_I am so sorry…_

Castiel can feel his vessels eyes open again, but it is like he is looking through them from under water and very far away. The picture is unclear and blurry, the sounds are hard to make out, but the voices coming from him are loud and excited, happy to finally have their chance.

“CAS?” Dean calls out, he thinks. His heart pangs and he longs to yell out to Dean to run away, to get away from him, but he can’t.

Castiel feels his body rising from the ground and with one last surge of strength, he manages to squeeze out one last word, one he puts as much into as he can: “Leviathan!”

With that, complete control of his body is given over to the creatures that are writhing inside of him. He watches, as if on a television screen, as Dean and Bobby are flung away from him. He hears Dean calling out for him, wondering what is going on, and hears the Leviathan reply, his voice manic.

“Cas is, well, he’s gone!” The Leviathan giggle and twist his face.

“This is going to be so much fun,” they say, the urge to harm swelling within them. Castiel watches the horror on Dean’s face and he wants so desperately to call out and tell him that he is still here. Wants to take control again and protect his hunter that he has given so much of his life to.

Unable to watch anymore, the last of his strength giving out, Castiel closes his eyes, not able to watch what might happen to the man in front of him. He has failed Dean one last time, and there is nothing he can possibly do to fix anything. He gives in, letting the Leviathan drag him deeper and deeper until he is only a shell of himself.

_I am so sorry, Dean…_


End file.
